Discipline with love (Amy McCready)
Parents can now breathe a sigh of relief. Amy McCready, Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, has taken the agony out of parenting with her indispensable and simple-to-use program described in her book, “If I Have to Tell You One More Time”. Join CJ as she gets the answers you need to the 3 most common challenges for parents: back talk, homework battles, and chores.
- Segment 1: The root to most of your child’s misbehavior can be understood with these 3 key concepts. Learn the one thing you can do 10 min each day that will noticeably reduce your child’s misbehavior in a few weeks.
- Segment 2: Homework Battles – What are the main reasons that homework battles occur? What are a few things to try to reduce homework battles?
- Segment 3: Repeated Forgetfulness – How can you get your child to remember and take ownership of their responsibilities? 4 simple and powerful ideas.
- Segment 4: Back talking- When did “whatever” become an appropriate response to EVERYTHING. What’s happening when your child back talks? What is the subtext behind their hurtful words? What can you do to restore respectful conversation?
- What is happening to your teen’s brain: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/09/22/brain-science-dr-joanne-deak/
- Top 3 conversations you should have with your kid: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/02/24/feb-24th-fire-it-up-with-cj-great-conversations-you-can-have-with-your-kids-about-puberty-and-sex-with-julie-metzger-and-rob-lehman/
- How to read your child’s body language with Teen Expert (Vanessa Van Petten): http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/09/09/911-parental-guidance-talking-with-your-teens/
Blog Post from our Guest
How do you get the grade without breaking the bank?
Book report or soccer practice? You can probably guess which one your child would prefer. Each year, our kids have more opportunities in school, more sports to play, and more clubs to join. How can we prevent studying from falling to the bottom of their to-do list?
Many parents take the seemingly logical approach of rewarding children when they earn a good grade. And nothing says “Nice work!” to a kid like money. After all, what’s wrong with paying for a job well done?
Unfortunately, these monetary rewards – and all rewards in general – have more negative effects than positive ones. To begin with, when we offer rewards, we are letting our kids know that we don’t have the confidence in them to behave or perform a task without being rewarded for it.
No only that, but a cash payout rewards the outcome of the work, rather than encouraging the good study habits themselves. A growing body of research is finding that rewards diminish – rather than encourage – the behavior with which they are associated. Students end up becoming less intrinsically motivated to do their studies and don’t develop a love for learning. Instead of an internal drive to do something, they now simply expect an external payoff.
Well-intentioned parents need not worry…there are simple steps we can take to develop good study habits without robbing our wallets.
Use encouragement, not rewards.
Regardless of what system you’re currently using in your home, it’s not too late to make a change. The first step is to introduce the new policy to your children. Your message should reinforce the fact that they are old enough to put forth their best effort without needing to be rewarded for it. Be sure to also let them know that you are confident this is something they can handle.
From here, we need to resist the temptation to reward. Instead, switch the focus to identifying and encouraging the good study habits. For instance, it’s Tuesday night, and Sarah has been studying for Wednesday’s history test for the last few days. Rather than reaching for our pocketbook when she gets her test result, this is the perfect opportunity to encourage the good study habits she’s showed. Take a moment to tell Sarah, “You’ve been studying hard for this test tomorrow – you should be proud of yourself!”
Connect good habits to good grades.
Sarah takes her history test and brings home an “A” the next day. This is great news! Now is the time to follow through on our new rewards-free system, and tie Sarah’s grade to her work. “Sarah, you planned ahead and studied hard for this test. That “A” represents all your hard work – you really earned that grade!” Sarah has learned that while an “A” is great, what matters most is the effort behind it.
By using encouragement instead of rewards, and by linking good effort to good grades, we set the groundwork for our kids to develop positive study habits. In our next blog post, we’ll look at a few more tips to keep the hassle out of homework.
About Our Guest
Amy founded Positive Parenting Solutions, Inc. in 2004 and developed the popular and successful Breakthrough Course that has changed the lives of thousands of parents through in-person seminars, speeches and online parenting training webinars.
Due to demand from parents around the country and abroad, Positive Parenting Solutions Online was developed in 2008 to give parents everywhere the skills, knowledge and tools to correct their children’s misbehaviors permanently without nagging, reminding or yelling. She speaks to them “one-on-one” through the most advanced and thorough Web 2.0 parenting course available today.
Amy McCready is frequently asked to provide expert parenting advice for print and online parenting articles. She is a sought after keynote speaker, writer, parenting coach, spokesperson, trainer and most importantly – Mom!
Amy is also the author of the critically aclaimed “If I Have To Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling”
Amy received her Bachelor of Science Degree in Finance from Penn State University and is certified as a Positive Discipline Parent Educator. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact Amy at:
Amy (at) PositiveParentingSolutions (dot) com