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Business & Life Skills

Lessons for Control Freaks (The Art of Surrender)

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appointmentAre you a control freak?  Many believe that controlling things will maximize our returns on an investment and is the only requirement for our path to success.  Have you ever examined how being a control freak results in your suffering?  Learn about the spiritual roots of control.  Ragini Michaels, a spiritual coach, will offer her tips on how to let go of control, how to deal with a control freak, and your own feelings of being out of control.

Show Summary

  • Segment 1: A Spiritual Perspective about Control – The Western culture was built on planning, and setting controls to ensure best outcomes as the only way of getting things done effeciently and effectively.  We’ll talk about the spiritual perspective on control.  What are the downsides of this approach toward life? 
  • Segment 2: Letting Go of Control – What is realistically in our control and what is not?  How do our desires to manifest and control our outcomes in life work with divine will?
  • Segment 3: Dealing with a Control Freak – What do you do with that control freak at work?  What are your options when you have a boss that micromanages?
  • Segment 4: Feeling out of Control– What do you do when you are feeling out of control?

Blog Post from our Guest

Caught Success by the Tail Yet?*

If you’re interested in succeeding, you’ve probably checked out all the hoop-la around the Law of Attraction and how to manifest your dreams. I’ll assume you’ve now heard (at least 100 times or more) the steps for ‘making things happen.’

But something must be amiss because I keep getting clients in my office feeling very bad about failing to reach their desired goals, even though they’ve been following all the manifestation guidelines.

A case in point is Harold. Harold loves gardening. And for 2 years he’s been struggling to get his own business off the ground. He was tired of working for someone else and wanted the freedom to exercise his own creativity and vision without being restrained by someone else’s ideas.

The problem is that Harold perceives himself as failing. As soon as he gets hit with some marketing or sales issue unrelated to the actual art of gardening and design, he gets knocked off balance.

He falls into an overwhelming pit of despair and starts to believe that he is inept and incapable of ever pulling the whole thing off.

I asked Harold what he did when he got in this situation. He replied, ‘I can’t do much of anything. I just feel like I should give up my dream and give in to reality as it is. So I usually end up feeling sad, unhappy, and pretty down on myself for being such a failure.’

It seems Harold, like most of my other clients, wasn’t aware that his ‘failures’ were showing him something wonderful he needed to discover about himself and his hidden capabilities. It could be something about running a business, marketing, sales, or publicity; or something more intimate like a limiting belief or attitude, like skepticism, cynicism, or doubt; or attempting to highlight a really negative and inaccurate image of his potential.

Unless you realize success at manifesting your dreams INCLUDES experiencing many failures, you will give up. Manifestation works best when you learn how to embrace those failures as gifts and gather the learnings that will teach you more than you currently know about what you’re actually capable of creating.

Success and failure create the two-sided coin of Achievement. Success isn’t sustainable without failure. In fact, it’s the presence of failure that keeps your experience of success expanding, each time more fresh, alive and vibrant.

Failure helps you find and manifest possibilities resting deep inside you. Perceiving failure as a statement about your value and worth shrinks your vision of success and possibility.

And, as with Harold, it can evoke the most deadly kind of paralysis– giving up. Fearing failure makes you want to hold on to what you have, even if you’re unhappy with it. It makes you tremble at risk’s request to take a daring journey to beyond what is currently ‘your life.’

Tips For Managing Your Desire To Succeed & Not Fail

  • Expand your definition of success to include more than wealth, recognition, and status, such as embracing your failures and receiving their gifts.
  • Unhook failure from the notion that it equals a negative statement of truth about your value and worth as a human being.
  • Imagine ‘as if’ the failure were a message from your highest inner self to attend to some detail or misunderstanding that you’ve overlooked.
  • Inquire – on your own or with the support of a coach or friend – by imagining the failure could talk to you and help you direct your attention toward the gift or learning it’s come to give you.
  • Do Not Allow Any Negative Talk From The Failure Or Toward The Failure. This will block the emergence of the gift into your awareness.
  • Stay with the failure long enough to receive the gift. Don’t just send it away without looking for the teaching it wants to share with you.
  • Failure is all about helping you perceive your personal power and how to better use it to make your dreams come true.

I taught Harold how to navigate his perceived failures so he wouldn’t fall into despair and disappear; and how to approach his experience of success as a high point in the journey, but never the final destination.

You can learn what Harold discovered, and then made into his own wisdom, in my new book,Unflappable – 6-Steps To Staying Happy, Centered, & Peaceful No Matter What. Or, stay tuned in for my upcoming Webinar where I’ll be talking about my new on-line training – The Mystic’s Wisdom De-Coded – where you can also learn these powerful 6 steps.

Learn to play the manifestation game with a fresh eye toward both success and failure. You’ll stay happier & more confident as you ride the emotional roller coaster that makes your dreams come true.

Much Love,

About our Guest

Ragini is the founder of Facticity® Trainings, Inc., a training and consulting company established in 1988 offering certification trainings in Paradox Management, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Ericksonian Hypnosis.

Her original work on the Psychology of Paradox has received critical acclaim and taken her throughout America, Canada, Europe, and India presenting workshops and seminars. She is the creator of eight hypnosis/meditation CD’s, and the author of two books on paradox with her third,Unflappable – 6-Steps To Staying Happy, Centered, and Peaceful No Matter What, available May 2012 (Conari Press).

Ragini is a true expert on human communication styles and practical spirituality.

Her approach relies on the practical application of her behavioral change skills and personal wisdom from 35 years of exploring meditation and stress release as it relates to living in a paradoxical world. These elements create a unique perspective and style that supports people’s desire to blend the wisdom of their spiritual lives into the fabric of their material lives to produce results, a sense of purpose, and more joy and inspiration from daily living.