{"id":15968,"date":"2013-06-10T19:00:56","date_gmt":"2013-06-11T02:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/\/new\/\/?p=15968"},"modified":"2015-06-08T10:03:44","modified_gmt":"2015-06-08T17:03:44","slug":"graduation-how-to-swim-with-the-sharks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/graduation-how-to-swim-with-the-sharks\/","title":{"rendered":"Graduation &#8211; Advice on How to Swim with the Sharks"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/bunch-of-fish.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-15970\" alt=\"bunch of fish\" src=\"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/bunch-of-fish-150x150.jpg\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a>It&#8217;s time to enter the real world for many grads out there. \u00a0Tim Hoch, a trial attorney, offers life lessons and shares some of pearls of wisdom from his book, &#8220;50 Rules for Success for Young Men Leaving Home&#8221;. \u00a0Originally what started as a letter to his son, Tim shares lessons from his personal experience. \u00a0Join us for a playful, yet serious topic of how to play firm, but friendly in the real world where power and grace need to go hand and hand.<\/p>\n<h1>Show Highlights<\/h1>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"line-height: 13px;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/fireitupwithcj.mywholelife.net\/RadioShows\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/06.12.13-Hoch-Segment-1.mp3\"><span>Segment 1<\/span><\/a>: <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Graduation- Advice for Winning an Argument<\/span>. \u00a0Who knows more about winning an argument than a trial lawyer? There will always be folks in life that want to fight and win an intellectual battle. \u00a0That person may be your wife, your co-worker, or worst enemy. \u00a0The goal is to be right. \u00a0Sometimes in this desire to &#8220;win&#8221;, we lose. \u00a0We lose sight of some simple things we can do to shift the debate to a new place. \u00a0Get some simple advice for yourself or to pass onto your new graduate. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/fireitupwithcj.mywholelife.net\/RadioShows\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/06.12.13-Hoch-Segment-2.mp3\"><span>Segment 2<\/span><\/a>: <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Graduation: <\/span><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Playing Nice on the Playground of Life\u00a0<\/span> \u00a0There is an proverb, &#8221; Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it&#8221;. \u00a0Try as you might, there are still pigs in this world. What do you do when you encounter someone who likes to fight and fight dirty? \u00a0How does being &#8220;wrong&#8221; some times help you win in life?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h1>Blog Post for our Upcoming Guest<\/h1>\n<p>When my son was thirteen he was invited on a beach vacation with his best friend\u2019s family. His friend\u2019s mom (we will call her Doris) took my son and hers to the mall to shop for beachwear. They were in the market for a pair of flip-flops. Doris walked into Pac Sun, the boys close behind. \u201cCan you help me?\u201d Doris tapped one of the teenage sales clerks on the shoulder. \u201cYeah, what do you need?\u201d he grunted. \u201cI\u2019m looking for boys\u2019 thongs\u201d she declared. Doris\u2019 son tried to slip away unnoticed while my son and the clerk did a poor job stifling their laughter. After a few seconds of mortified silence, Doris persisted: \u201cMy gosh, you act as though you\u2019ve never even heard of thongs for little boys.\u201d Just before they left for the trip, Doris came by and spoke of the difficulties of raising a young man. \u201cHe hardly even speaks to me. It\u2019s like he\u2019s embarrassed to be associated with me.\u201d I just smiled. What I wanted to say is: \u201cYou\u2019re doing it wrong.\u201d Lord knows, I\u2019m no expert. I\u2019ve had more than my share of cringe worthy attempts at navigating the teenage discourse dynamic. But I have been able to decipher some hard and fast rules when trying to converse with kids. Here are a few: <b><i>Rule number one:<\/i><\/b>\u00a0Don\u2019t use outdated cultural references or phrases. Noone \u201ctalks to the hand.\u201d Nothing you want to discuss is \u201cbitchin\u2019\u201d or \u201cgnarly\u201d or \u201crad.\u201d Fo-shizzle. <b><i>Rule number two<\/i><\/b>: Don\u2019t join their conversations unless you\u2019re invited. I was driving my daughter and three of her friends to an eighth grade dance. They were giggling and whispering about some of the boys in their class when I decided to chime in. Bad idea. They don\u2019t want my opinion about whether a certain classmate is a \u201csweet kid.\u201d <b><i>Rule number three:<\/i><\/b>\u00a0Don\u2019t interrupt or argue. That is not a conversation. It\u2019s a lecture. <b><i>Rule number four:<\/i><\/b>\u00a0No nicknames. Even if your son\u2019s friend is named Tony, don\u2019t refer to him as \u201cT-bone.\u201d Your daughter\u2019s friend is \u201cElizabeth\u201d not \u201cLizard.\u201d <b><i>Rule number five<\/i><\/b><b>:<\/b>\u00a0Try to have a functional understanding of (and ability to pronounce) things that are important to them. For example, don\u2019t keep referring to twitter as \u201ctweeter\u201d or Instagram as \u201cInstant grams.\u201d <b><i>Rule number six:<\/i><\/b>\u00a0Conversations are not teaching moments. So don\u2019t make them one. Don\u2019t criticize them or tell them how you would have handled a situation differently. If your child says something that bothers you, hold that thought. You will have time to circle back to it later. <b><i>Rule number 7:<\/i><\/b>\u00a0Don\u2019t dismiss their thoughts as \u201csilly\u201d or \u201cstupid.\u201d My daughter once told me about a difficult day at school. She was in a fight with one of her best friends. It was a silly argument and I told her so. Big mistake. She would come to the same conclusion on her own a few days later. I didn\u2019t need to speed it up for her. I just needed to listen. <b><i>Rule number 8<\/i><\/b>: Don\u2019t rely on your kids to fulfill your need for conversation. Develop your own interests, your own \u201ccool\u201d independent of your kids. Show them that you have a life outside of whatever they are doing. They will engage you on it. Trust me. <b><i>Rule number 9:<\/i><\/b>\u00a0Do not use any of the following phrases in conversation: \u201cWhen I was your age\u2026\u201d or \u201cIf I were you\u2026\u201d or \u201cpull my finger.\u201d Just stop. <b><i>Rule number 10:<\/i><\/b>\u00a0Don\u2019t gossip. There is nothing more pathetic than an adult who gossips with kids. And adults who gossip with kids\u00a0<i>about other kids<\/i>? They should be marched straight through the gates of hell\u2026.in boy\u2019s thongs.<\/p>\n<h1>About Our Guest<\/h1>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/tim-hoch.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-15969\" alt=\"tim hoch\" src=\"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/tim-hoch-150x145.jpg\" width=\"150\" height=\"145\" \/><\/a>TRIAL LAWYER. STRATEGIST. CONSULTANT.<\/strong> Tim Hoch is a trial lawyer with over 20 years of experience. He is Board Certified in Personal Injury Trial Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. This is a distinction shared by less than 1% of the lawyers in Texas. He has litigated over two thousand cases and tried many cases to verdict. He has taken and defended hundreds of depositions. He is a zealous and tireless advocate for his clients. Tim was born and raised in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. He is a 1985 graduate of Texas Christian University. He obtained his law degree from the University of Oklahoma College of Law. He has practiced law in Fort Worth, Texas since that time. He is licensed in both Texas and Oklahoma. Tim has achieved the following successes for his clients: &#8211;\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Achieved control of a $126 million property for his client in a dispute between lenders; &#8211;\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Negotiated a settlement for over 1300 clients in a pharmaceutical case for an aggregate amount of over $400 million; &#8211;\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Negotiated a settlement for hundreds of clients in medical device litigation; &#8211;\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Negotiated a multi-million dollar settlement on behalf of families of babies who were administered a lethal drug in a neo-natal intensive care unit of a major hospital; &#8211;\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Tried and negotiated verdicts in excess of a million dollars for victims of business fraud, railroad injuries, medical malpractice and negligence actions. Tim is active in his community. He serves as Vice Chair for Catholic Charities-Fort Worth where he has served on the Board for over 4 years. He is a past member of the Chancellor\u2019s Advisory Council at TCU. He is on the Board of Directors for Frog Club at TCU and is past Program Chair. He is a volunteer at The Assessment Center, a shelter for abused children. He is also a volunteer at Child Advocates of Tarrant County, an organization which assists victims of child abuse through the court system. He is on the Finance Committee for Trinity Valley School. Tim is a small business owner. In addition to his legal practice, Tim is the owner of Property Tax Fix, LLC, a property tax lender where he has built a multi million dollar loan portfolio in two years. He also owns a real estate brokerage firm. Tim takes special interest in lecturing on the art of persuasion. He has given numerous presentations for lawyers and other groups on trial and negotiation techniques. He is a dynamic, passionate and creative speaker.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s time to enter the real world for many grads out there. \u00a0Tim Hoch, a trial attorney, offers life lessons and shares some of pearls of wisdom from his book, &#8220;50 Rules for Success for Young Men Leaving Home&#8221;. \u00a0Originally what started as a letter to his son, Tim shares lessons from his personal experience.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19869,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[511,58],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[1862,3732,4946,4941,4945,4046,1657,4935,4937,4939,4942,4936,4932,4943,4944,4398,4938,4940,4933,4934],"class_list":["post-15968","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business-skills","category-business"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/bunch-of-fish-compressed.jpg","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15968","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15968"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15968\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21510,"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15968\/revisions\/21510"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19869"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15968"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15968"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15968"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fireitupwithcj.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=15968"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}