Learn how to fix the 12 most common relationship problems and what to say to your partner about thorny issues, such as spending more quality time together, money issues, and splitting domestic duties from couples therapist Jonathan Robinson.<\/p>\n
by CJ Liu<\/p>\n
Throughout the first ten years of my relationship, my husband and I argued over and over again about household chores. It wasn\u2019t until I studied to be a life coach and a mediator, and did my own work on the couch that things really changed. (Note: our solution is at the bottom of this article.).<\/p>\n
As a life coach, I learned about personalities and how each person has their own perception of what the world is about and how to interact and navigate appropriately. For example, I\u2019m an extrovert \u2013 outgoing, talkative and have energetic mannerisms. My husband, on the other hand, is an introvert \u2013 reserved and solitary. While I prefer to have a more structured and decided lifestyle, my husband is more flexible and adaptable. This variance impacted our ability to agree on small decisions like scheduling cleaning tasks for the month. \u00a0As a mediator, I learned that good communication requires both parties to be open and able to listen without interruption. Another key is to adopt the give and take process when listening as it creates a sense of emotional safety and trust.<\/p>\n
Through my own soul searching, I started owning my part in creating the problems my partner and I were having. In the end, what became clear from this experience was how we lost track of what truly mattered due to simple differences in our personalities. Ultimately, our beliefs can either bring us together or break us apart. The hard work is learning how to shift these beliefs in the interest of love.<\/p>\n
Your life\u2019s journey is determining whether you choose to love or be right. If you choose to love, then consider trying out some of the below ideas pulled from Jonathan Robinson\u2019s NY Times bestselling book, \u201cCommunication Miracles for Couples\u201d. Robinson summarizes what my husband and I learned over the past 19 years about how to communicate. I wish I had this knowledge a while back, as it would have saved a bunch of time and many needless arguments. But as Taoist philosopher Lao Tzu says, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Start creating a legacy of love and begin with how you communicate.<\/p>\n
For more on how our perceptions of the world shape our reality, check out this 2-minute coaching tip here.<\/a><\/p>\n