The New Science of Narcissism

CJ Liu interviews W. Keith Campbell, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia, on his book, “The New Science of Narcissism: Understanding One of the Greatest Psychological Challenges of Our Time – and What You Can Do About It.”

How to Spot a Narcissist // Part 1 of 4

Keith explains that narcissism is when someone who needs to get attention. Because everyone has the need for attention, narcissism is a personality trait. The degree and forms of narcissism and whether it becomes a disorder is what varies.

There are two different forms of narcissism:

1) Grandiose – A person who wants to be respected and be the center of attention (e.g.- Napolean).
2) Vulnerable – A person who is insecure and fantasizes about being respected and attracting people (e.g.- Joker).

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is when a person cannot turn it “off”. If the person is slighted it affects their whole relationship with the person.

Is My Boss, Wife or Friend a Narcissist? // Part 2 of 4

Keith shares that Narcissists can sometimes be perceived as strong leaders or attractive partners due to their confidence and charisma. In a work environment, a narcissistic leader can take the following forms as ways of gaining attention:

1) Tyrant – A person whose personal views aligns to the organizational view. However, leaders who follow this style may be perceived as a tyrant. This leadership is the opposite of servant leader that serves others.
2) Lazy – This person wants to be told that they are great and they demand attention.
3) Unethical – A person who has sloppy ethics and will do anything to gain attention.

The goal of these leaders is to be right and to look out for #1. Others are seen as objects or possessions that are below them. If you are useful to gaining their attention, then you will be of use. If you make them look bad, then don’t be surprised if they throw you under the bus. If you make them look good, they will take all the credit. Narcissists are playing a game. Anyone who isn’t willing to cheat, steal, and lie to win the game are suckers and losers.

Strategies For Dealing with a Narcissist

If you are employed by a narcissistic leader, then Keith suggests the following strategies:
1) Protect yourself. Keep good records, so when the narcissist wants to throw you under the bus or take credit for your work have proof.
2) Build allies.
3) Give them the attention they want.
4) Try to avoid them and don’t trust them.
5) Getting them fired may be a challenge unless you are willing to play the game.
6) Promote them up and out of your organization.

The same concepts hold true if someone is married to a narcissist. You may be a trophy wife, husband, and viewed as an object. If you want your partner to leave, then be boring and fade into the wood work. While therapy can be helpful, it has to be done consistently.

Before diving deep in relationship with someone who seems so alluring, make sure to move slowly. Narcissists will look attractive during the initial stages of a relationship, which are shallow and not all that intimate. But over time, you find it hard to get your needs met. Be suspicious if you notice that your partners leaves a trail of broken relationships, or with a lot of staff turning around when considering a boss.

Can a Narcissist be Healed? // Part 3 of 4

Is Narcissism genetic? Keith explains that 50% of this trait is inheritable although not isolated to just one gene. 30-40% are from your cultural environment. Finally, 10-15% is from having a cold dismissive parent or parents that put their children on a pedestal.

How is Narcissism related to borderline?

If narcissism is on a spectrum vulnerable narcissism moves into borderline.

Can Narcissism be treated?

While there are many methods, there is no scientifically proven ways to treat Narcissism. However, group therapy, cognitive therapy, etc can all be helpful if done consistently.

How to Deal With an Emotional Vampire // Part 4 of 4

CJ asks Keith advice on what to do when you are in a 1-1 social situation with someone who appears to be a Narcissist and hogs the conversation. Keith explains that when people monologue and are self-centered, it’s sometimes because they are depressed or anxious versus being a narcissist.

Someone who is depressed will be prone to rumination, which means that they talk about their troubles without making progress. A narcissist will want attention, whereas someone depressed will just want to talk about their pain.

More on W. Keith Campbell

W. Keith Campbell, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. He studies narcissism and lectures on personality. He holds a BA from the University of California at Berkeley, an MA from San Diego State University, a PhD from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and did his postdoctoral work at Case Western Reserve University. He lives in Athens, Georgia, with his wife and daughters.

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